


Hold Back The Reigns

by crime_n_passion



Category: Duran Duran
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-06-01 22:56:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6539989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crime_n_passion/pseuds/crime_n_passion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The band is experiencing their first tour of America and John is learning about the indulgences on the road.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold Back The Reigns

The year was 1981 and the band were enjoying the success of their singles ‘Planet Earth’ and ‘Girls On Film’ running up the charts in just about every English speaking country - and a few foreign ones too. They'd already completed a tour with Hazel O’Connor and now they were about to go out on their own headlining tour. Their biggest conquest: America. If a British band could break through to the US, then they knew they had arrived. And arrived they had. All five members walked off the plane in New York when they all looked around at the sights of bustling people in the airport. They must have looked strange with their coifed, coloured hair to all of the businessmen in suits flying from one destination to another, but they didn’t care. They were here to conquer America.

Although they had enjoyed some mild success already, the band wasn’t playing arenas yet, and they certainly weren’t staying in fancy hotels. It usually ended up that two of them would share a room and the other lucky sod got a room to himself that night. Even though they had to take turns switching up roommates, they didn’t care, they were having a grand time in New York. There were parties, discos, pretty girls, pretty boys, and plenty of any type of substance you would want to indulge in.

John, Simon, Nick, and Andy were out late particularly one night at a club as they sat in a corner booth. Roger wasn’t a big fan of crowds and partying. He would much rather watch American television and was impressed by all of the channels back at the hotel. The mixture of disco and new wave music was thumping through the club speakers as the guys looked around in amazement. Barely out of their teens themselves, they were just young, naive lads from Birmingham, England seeing New York and all of its indulgences.

A busty blonde came over to Nick and drew a finger around his cheek, “Want to dance?” she asked with a naughty smirk playing over her lips.

“Oi! He CAN’T dance, but you can give it a go!” Andy joked loudly as all of the other band members laughed in agreement with him.

That earned Andy a glare from Nick, but only momentarily as Nick left the booth to go dance with his new friend. As soon as they left, another beautiful blonde came to their booth with a set of tits that made the guys not even notice her face. All three of them stared at her gigantic chest as she smiled at them.

“My eyes are up here, boys,” she grinned. “So why are you three sitting all alone? There are plenty of pretty girls in here who would love to show you a good time!”

Simon, being the most outspoken, spoke up first, “We’re from England, darling! We’re just taking in all of the lovely sights!”

“England, huh? Well welcome to New York, I don’t suppose you nice English boys like to party?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

The three of them looked at each other in confusion thinking that’s what they were already doing. They had cocktails and they were listening to music and watching the scene.

The mystery blonde laughed and said, “Come on. I want to show you something.” She led them down a dark corridor and into a backroom with a VIP label on it. The guys were only eager to follow wherever this beautiful angel would take them, and this seemed like the place to be anyway.

All around the VIP room was debauchery. Guys smiling at them while they had beautiful women bobbing up and down on their laps under the table, people sitting in a circle passing a joint around, and they even looked in shock to see all of the heroin junkies shooting up in a dark corner. The blonde led them to an empty table which they all sat around and then she pulled a plastic bag out of her purse.

“I assume you nice boys from England have seen coke before, right?” she smirked.

“Yeah, I’ve done it a few times myself,” Andy piped up. “My mates are choir boys though. You’re gonna have to corrupt them, love!”

“I suppose so!” She said as she chopped out several lines onto the table in front of the boys.

She immediately took the straw and snorted a line up her nose and then handed it to Andy and he snorted the next line. Andy then handed it to John who looked taken aback for a moment. He was a good Catholic boy who still lived with his parents, he hadn’t even done anything harder than smoking a joint behind the schoolyard with his mates.

“C’mon, mate! Try it! It’s brilliant how good it feels!” Andy urged him.

John thought ‘here goes nothing’ and he took the straw to his nose just like he had seen Andy and their new friend do, and snorted a line. He immediately pulled a sour face. It felt like he had shoved fire up his sinuses, and the taste in the back of his mouth was nothing short of chewing on an aspirin.

Andy laughed at him, “Johnny is no more choir boy now, yeah?”

John didn’t understand what the fuss was all about. This felt and tasted horrible - but then the euphoria set in. He grew a big smile at Andy in acknowledgment that he now knew what he meant. He passed the straw to Simon who took no time to hesitate. Simon was always one to jump in to any action - no matter how dangerous it could be. He snorted the last line and immediately felt the rush to his brain. All three of them were completely wired out of their minds after a few more lines with the blonde. They went back out to the main dance floor and each of them picked a beautiful girl to dance with while they rode their high into the wee morning hours.

———-

It was time to leave New York and go to the next stop on their tour, but as the boys were finding out, drugs weren’t only confined to the city limits of New York. John, Andy, and Simon had now been partying on drink and drugs practically every night and finding themselves shagging a few girls along the way as well.

A week into the tour, the guys were now getting high before going onstage. This was a whole new way to enjoy the natural high of performing in front of a crowd. Simon seemed to be the most euphoric and enjoyed prancing around the stage and singing his lungs out. One particular night, he was so high that he decided that John looked absolutely beautiful standing to his right, plucking out strings on his bass. So he went over to him and put his arm around John’s waist while singing ‘Friends of Mine’. John barely noticed it himself as he was wired and lost in his own euphoria, but Simon quite liked the idea of teasing John onstage. He then rubbed the front of his body up against John’s side and leaned in and licked his neck. John was definitely noticing now. He threw his head back and closed his eyes as he felt Simon’s tongue taste the salt on his skin. The crowd went wild seeing the two of them giving a performance that would practically earn them an X-rating. Simon continued teasing John for the rest of the performance and during the encore, he even went up behind John and pushed his crotch into the curve of John’s ass, and John groaned and laid his head backwards on Simon’s shoulder as he slammed his eyes closed.

After the show, the band filed into the dressing room. John and Simon looked at each other with playful schoolboy smiles, and Nick came storming in.

“Have you gone mad? What was THAT?” He asked, in utter shock of the little performance he had witnessed between the two.

“Nuthin, love. Just wanted to give a little extra performance tonight!” Simon said as he grinned widely at Nick giving him a silly wink.

Nick looked at him like he was off his trolley, “What the hell did you take?” Knowing that Simon had to be high.

“Aw Nick, lighten up! We’re just having a little fun!” Simon said as he rubbed his fingers through his own damp hair. “It’s not like I was pissed out of my mind and stumbling!”

“Well whatever you’ve taken, don’t let it affect the band! Everything we’ve worked hard for is now happening,” Nick warned.

John and Simon were giggling like children, completely intoxicated and reeling from their performance. It was their turn to be roommates that night and they were looking forward to doing more drink and drugs until sunrise.

———————-

The band got back to their seedy hotel and John and Simon were laughing and talking as they made their way to their room. They slipped inside and Simon pulled out a packet of coke and dangled it in front of John’s face.

“You want more??” He teased.

“You know I do, come on then, chop it up!” John said eagerly.

“Kiss me first,” Simon grinned an evil smile.

“WHAT! You’re mad!” John laughed as he shoved Simon lightly in the shoulder.

“I mean it, Johnny! Kiss me and you can have more,” Simon teased even more, pulling the bag away and stuffing it down his pants.

John’s laugh turned to curiosity as he raised a perfect eyebrow at Simon. Did he dare to do it? ‘Why not!’ he thought to himself. So he gave Simon a quick peck on the lips.

“THAT was a kiss??” Simon laughed heartily. “You have to do better than that or you won’t get anything!”

John suddenly looked at Simon in a whole new light. He wasn’t just his friend and his bandmate, but he now saw this beautiful 23 year old older man, who had incidentally teased him all night on stage. John stepped a few steps forward, closed his eyes, and softly started kissing Simon. Simon leaned forward into the kiss and wrapped his hand around the back of John’s head. Their tongues met and instant electricity surged through their bodies.

Simon was the first to pull back from the kiss with his swollen lips and hungry blue eyes looking at John, “Now that will do.” He grinned. “Still want more coke?” He questioned.

“You know I do,” John softly smiled.

“Well you know where it is,” Simon grinned as he gazed down to the front of his pants.

“What?? You’re going to make me go fetch it now?” John whined.

“Let’s see how bad you really want it,” Simon grinned evilly.

John felt slightly uncomfortable and out of his element, but he did want that coke. So he quickly reached his hand down the front of Simon’s pants and snatched it.

“Awww, Johnny,” Simon pouted playfully. “That wasn’t much fun. You didn’t even reach low enough to touch anything,” he teased.

John just rolled his eyes and shoved Simon lightly out of the way and went to the table and set up two more lines for them on the coffee table. They both sat down on the couch and each took their turns snorting them and then they both relaxed against the back of the couch, with their heads laying back against the soft cushions. 

Simon rolled his head to the side to look at John, “God bless America.” He laughed lamely.

John sighed in amusement and just continued to stare at the wall.

They sat in silence for a little bit, still reeling from all of the cocaine in their systems and also the high of coming offstage. Then Simon figured now was as good as time as any to make his move. He slid his hand over to the top of John’s knee. John didn’t say anything to him and just continued looking at the wall. Simon then slid his hand up further, up John’s thigh and then firmly on his crotch.

John turned his head to look at Simon, “What are you doing?” he laughed.

“I’m trying to get in your pants, isn’t it obvious?” Simon grinned.

John rolled his eyes but didn’t do anything to stop Simon. Simon started to rub John’s cock through his trousers and John hissed and closed his eyes, head still leaning against the back of the couch. 

Simon crawled like a tiger over to John and whispered in his ear, “Do you like that, Johnny?” he said with a low growl.

John could only nod fast, still keeping his eyes closed. He was far away from mum and dad’s house now.

John’s erection started building in his pants underneath Simon’s touch. He had never been with another bloke before, but he was so high and Simon had been teasing him all night onstage that he figured a little experimentation couldn’t hurt. Simon continued to rub John until John’s cock was firmly erect. Simon had sex with other men before, but it was nothing like looking at the beautiful John Taylor in the throes of ecstasy.

“Do you want to touch me too?” Simon whispered in John’s ear.

“Y-yes,” John stammered.

Simon moved close to John and unzipped his pants. His erection didn’t need any help, he was already as hard as a rock. He pulled his cock from his pants and took John’s hand and put it around it, but John was nervous touching another man. However he knew what it felt like to get a hand job, so he just did to Simon what he knew he liked. Simon unzipped John’s pants and freed his cock from the confines of his underwear. Simon started stroking long and deep as John groaned into his touch.

“Kiss me..” Simon begged.

They both urgently slammed their mouths together while they touched each other. They continued their stroking until they were both ready to reach the edge. 

John pulled away from the kiss, “Simon….I’m gonna…”

“Do it Johnny, let me watch you come,” Simon grinned.

“Oh god! Fuuuuuck!” John whined as his thick come spurted out onto Simon’s hand and his own pants.

Simon smiled and continued to stroke John until he was flaccid again. John was still working Simon’s cock, but Simon had much more endurance than John did.

“Do you wanna watch me come for you, Johnny?” he teased.

“Y-yes…please!!” John begged as he stroked harder and faster.

Simon slouched back against the couch and looked down at John’s hand rubbing friction against his cock. He couldn’t hold out anymore, he needed the release.

“Oh fuck, Johnny! Yes! Keep rubbing!” Simon begged. Then shortly after he released his semen all over John’s hand in pulses. “JOOOOOHN! FUCK!!” he screamed as he came.

They both sat there for a moment, panting through their orgasms without saying a word. Then Simon drew close to John and shot him a very naughty grin as he licked John’s come off of his own hand. John almost orgasmed again watching that sight unfold right in front of his face.

—————

John woke up late the next afternoon in their hotel room in bed next to Simon who was lying away from him and snoring softly. John had a bad hangover and groaned to himself, and then he remembered what he and Simon had done on the couch and his eyes went wide as he tossed a glance over to Simon who was still sleeping. John carefully inched his way out of the bed, grabbed some fresh clothes, got quickly dressed, and slipped out of the room so Simon couldn’t hear him. He made it down to the room Nick and Roger were sharing and softly knocked on the door.

Nick answered reluctantly with one eye open from the glare of the hallway lights, “What time is it?” he groaned.

“About 2 PM, is Rog around?” John asked.

“No, he went out a bit ago. And I just woke up,” Nick yawned.

“Can I come in? To talk?” John asked nervously.

Nick groaned, but he’d do anything for his best friend. John immediately rushed into the room before he could be seen by anyone and sat on the couch. Nick looked at him with an inquisitive look knowing that something was wrong.

“What is it, John?” he asked, now fully awake as he stood in front of John.

“Fuck, Nick. I made a huge mistake!” John groaned as he slumped over with his elbows on his knees and his hands covering his face.

“You mean that bad note you hit last night? Don’t give it another thought, no one noticed,” Nick smirked, trying to keep the mood light.

“No, not that. I mean after the show,” John continued.

Nick looked at him curiously, not knowing what John would say next. He sat down next to John on the couch and turned to look at his friend. “What is it then? What happened?”

“I kinda fooled around with Charley,” John said in a near whisper.

Nick raised an eyebrow, “You mean like sex??”

“Yeah kind of…” John groaned.

Nick sighed knowing that John and Simon had both been high the night before and it was probably the drugs that led them into their actions.

“So you slept with Charley??” Nick repeated, sort of in shock.

“No, not really. We just kind of….well..we kind of….fooled around a bit,” John said as he blushed in shame.

“Have you talked to him about this today?” Nick asked.

“NO!! I snuck out of the room before he was even awake,” John replied. “I didn’t know how to face him after that. I’m so embarrassed!”

“Well you’re gonna have to face him sometime, John,” Nick rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe you two. What’s this gonna mean for the band then?”

“I don’t know…”

“You don’t know??” Nick asked in shock. “I hope you aren’t planning on leaving!”

“Yes…no…I don’t know!” John said in a big awkward confusion.

“Well there’s no ‘yes’ about it, you are going to talk with him and tell him it was a mistake if I have to bloody well take you in there by your ear!” Nick scolded.

John just sighed, “We have a sound check in a couple hours. Mind if I use your shower?”

“Go ahead. Damn Charley that randy sod! He can never keep it in his pants!” Nick said angrily. “He’s shagged the entire east coast of America and now you’re the latest notch in his bed post!”

“Yeah,” John groaned as he headed off to the shower.

—————

The band arrived at their soundcheck and John made it a point to purposefully avoid Simon. John was thankfully in a separate dressing room with Andy and he could hide there until they had to face each other onstage and then no words could be said about it in front of all of the other people. Andy left the dressing room before John so he could go check the sound on his guitars. John was primping himself in the mirror and applying some eyeliner when he heard a soft knock. He assumed it was Nick because Simon never knocked, he was one to just barge right into a room. He opened the door and saw Simon standing in front of him with a smile. John’s eyes went wide as he was face to face, alone with Simon.

“Hey!” Simon grinned as he pushed himself past John and into the dressing room.

John closed the door behind them because he knew the inevitable conversation they were about to have.

“You left this morning without even a proper goodbye kiss!” Simon teased.

"Yeah, uh. I went to have breakfast with Nick,” John lied.

Simon then staked over to John, pushing him against the wall. Simon reached his hand down to John’s crotch and started rubbing.

“I can’t keep my mind off last night,” Simon smiled evilly.

“Um, yeah, about that…” John stuttered as he pushed Simon’s hand away from his groin. “I think what we did was a kind of a mistake.” he said carefully.

Simon frowned and looked at John like he he had gone mad, “What?? There was no mistake when you came all over my hand,” he retorted.

John blushed fiercely and looked at the ground and sighed, “We were both high, Charley. We didn’t really know what we were doing.”

Simon moved away from John and paced the floor in frustration, “So you want to blame it on the drugs then, yeah? Nothing that we did last night meant anything to you??” He asked, pointedly glaring at John.

John didn’t know what to say, he just looked at Simon trying to explain what he felt, “I’m not even gay, Charley. I didn’t really know what I was doing!”

Simon huffed and his eyes looked directly at John, “So I’m just a little experiment for you then? You’re going to mess around with me and then it’s over??”

“Simon, I…”

“Forget it, John. I’m not stupid. You’re the pretty one who thinks he can get his bloody prick satisfied and then walk away! Well fine then, walk away you wanker! I guess I was daft enough to believe that last night actually meant something!” He growled.

“Charley, I consider you one of my best mates, yeah? I wasn’t out looking for a quick snog on the couch!! We were just both under the influence and well…it just shouldn’t have happened,” John sighed.

Simon paced the floor a bit more and then gave John a soul piercing glare, “Fine then. You go ahead and shag all the bints you want, but when you are ready to snog on another bloke, don’t ever come looking for me!” He said as he stormed out the door.

John rolled his eyes and let out a deep breath. This was going to be a great tour, he thought to himself sarcastically.

Eventually the band gathered on the stage for their soundcheck and everyone could feel Simon’s mood as he tested his mic. “There’s not enough bloody level on this microphone! Are you wankers stupid or something!” he growled at the sound engineers.

Andy looked at Simon with wide eyes, he had never seen his friend be so rude before. He went over and put an arm around Simon’s shoulder, “What’s bothering you then, mate? Why are you being an arsewipe to everyone?”

Simon glared at Andy and shoved Andy’s arm off of his shoulder, “Why don’t you ask Johnny over there? Seeing that my existence is just a big mistake to him!” he growled.

Andy looked over at John, who was then blushing and staring at the floor. Andy just raised an eyebrow and knew Simon and John had had some sort of fight, but didn’t know what Simon was talking about. Simon then started to sing into the microphone and noticed that his voice was really gruff and cracking. He was then so frustrated that he knocked the mic stand over violently onto the stage and stormed out.

“What’s crawled up his arse and died then?” Andy asked John.

“It’s nothing, Ands. We’ll fix it. Don’t worry,” John said softly.

Nick rolled his eyes and knew that John and Simon had had ‘the talk’.

The band finished their soundcheck without Simon and then they all headed backstage so that they could prepare for the show. Simon was sitting alone in front of the mirror in the dressing room with his elbow propped up on the table and his forehead in his hand. Nick strolled in and looked at Simon with worry.

“John told me what happened,” Nick said softly.

Simon then looked into the mirror at Nick’s reflection behind him, “Yeah, and...?? Are you his next shag then??” he said dripping with angry sarcasm.

“No, of course not,” Nick rolled his eyes. “Charley, John is not even gay, you know that!”

“He didn’t seem very straight last night when he watched me lick his come off my hand!” Simon huffed.

Nick just cleared his throat and tried to put the disturbing mental image out of his head, “Simon, that’s not the point. You guys were off on a tear and a mistake happened, that’s all. Just let it go.”

Simon then snapped his body around to look at Nick directly, “Well it wasn’t a mistake to me!!” He growled. “But I forgot, John Taylor can have his way with anyone and then walk away!!”

“It’s not like that, Charley,” Nick explained. “It was just an experiment to him and now he’s embarrassed about it. Put yourself in his shoes, yeah?”

“HE’S the one who is embarrassed??” Simon growled. “He’s shoved me away like I raped him last night!!”

Nick sighed, “Can’t you just let it go? For the band, yeah?”

“Yeah…whatever. Just don’t expect me to feel sorry for the bloody bastard when he gets his own heart broken!” Simon replied as he turned back around to the mirror and started applying his eyeliner.

———————

The show that night was slightly awkward. John kept to himself on his side of the stage and Simon interacted with Andy alone. They sang into the mic together with Simon’s arm around Andy and put their best efforts into the show. John looked at them both and remembered that he was the one Simon used to share the mic with. A sudden sadness swept over his body and he cursed everything that had happened between them. In the middle of the show, Simon noticed that his voice was starting to crack even though he had warmed up properly beforehand. Andy smiled a reassuring smile to Simon, just trying to help him get through the rest of the show.

After the show Simon was even more angry that his performance wasn’t up to par. He stormed to the dressing room to remove his makeup and change his clothes. Andy appeared in the doorway and leaned against it.

“It’s the drugs, mate,” Andy informed him.

Simon turned to look at him curiously, “What is?”

“Your voice. It’s from all the drugs,” Andy knew from experience.

Simon pondered what Andy was saying for a minute as he looked down at the floor. He didn’t want the rest of the tour to go on like this, they would never be a successful band.

He looked up at Andy inquisitively, “So if I stop doing the drugs, I’ll be able to sing properly?”

“Yep,” Andy replied. “All of us have been snorting through a bloody mountain of coke! It’s no wonder your voice has been giving out on you.”

Simon sighed and looked defeated. He loved the sensation of being energized by all of the cocaine they were doing, but not at the expense of his throat. The correct priorities had to come first.

“Well thanks for letting me know, Ands. I guess I’ll just stick to drink now. We can’t have our singer sounding like a toad!” Simon laughed as the mood lightened a bit.

“Oi! You do anyway!” Andy laughed loudly as Simon through his shoe at him while Andy ducked. “So what is it between you and Johnny then?”

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it. It’s over,” Simon said briskly as he got up to change his clothes.

“I hope so. You are both my best mates! I don’t want to see you lads fighting for the rest of the tour,” Andy said as tender as Andy’s gruff demeanor could be.

“We won’t, Ands. Thanks for telling me,” Simon sighed.

“No problem. You’ll be back as good as new soon, don’t worry!” Andy smiled as he left the dressing room.

Simon changed his clothes and went to the after party that they always had after a show. Besides all of the band members, there were roadies, managers, and plenty of groupies in the crowd. Simon noticed John in the corner talking to a couple of girls and smiling at them both. Simon growled to himself and turned his back away from John and asked the bartender for another drink.

Simon continued to watch John from afar as John kept his mind busy on the girls surrounding him. He also noticed that John was talking to some unsavory looking men as well and he saw John swapping money for drugs with the guys. Simon just rolled his eyes, and sipped his cocktail. He had given the drugs up, but he knew John was still going to partake in them because he knew how electrified they made him feel.

About an hour later Simon watched as John left the party with two girls around his arms and followed by one of the men who looked like a real sleazy asshole. He noticed they went out into a car and into the night. Simon wondered where John could be going if not back to their hotel. It was Simon’s turn to spend the night with Nick so he got to the hotel and found John’s room. He carefully tapped on the door and the door opened for him to find Roger on the other side.

“Where’s John?” Simon inquisitively asked the drummer.

Roger shrugged, “I thought he was at the party?” he mumbled.

Simon looked confusedly at Roger and wondered where John had gone off, “I saw him leave in a car with some bloke and two birds. I thought maybe he had come back here.”

“Nope, not here. I’m going to bed, mate. Have a good night,” Roger said.

“Yeah you too, Rog,” Simon said as he watched Roger close the door.

Simon worried a bit about John hanging out with the wrong kind of people. He then shrugged it off and went back to his own room. He noticed Nick hadn’t come back from the party yet, so he just flopped onto the couch and watched some American television.

Nick came in a couple hours later and saw Simon dozed off on the couch. He reached over to him and gently shook him on his shoulder, “Charley. Wake up,” he whispered.

Simon reluctantly opened his eyes and then looked around trying to familiarize himself with his surroundings, “Huh?” he groaned.

“I just thought you’d have a kink in your neck if you slept all night on the couch,” Nick smiled.

“Where’s John?” Simon asked out of nowhere.

“John? I’m your roommate tonight, don’t you remember?” Nick reminded him with an inquisitive look.

“Is John back to his hotel room yet?” Simon asked Nick.

Nick just shrugged, “How would I know, Charley? I haven’t seen him. Come on. Let’s go to bed. You look knackered.”

Simon got up off the couch and followed Nick into the bedroom. They both got into bed and slept as far away as possible from each other. Not because they were angry, but because neither of them much liked sharing a bed with another man - unless it was John, Simon thought.

The next afternoon the band finally roused and fancied some breakfast. They all went to a close by diner and sat around a table. Simon noticed that John was noticeably absent. He figured John didn’t want to see him so he sighed to himself and continued conversation with the rest of his mates.

“So John slept in your room last night?” Roger asked Andy while eating a bite of toast.

“Johnny? Nah, I haven’t seen him since the party,” Andy said nonchalantly.

Simon’s eyes went wide. John had spent the night with those people he left with? Simon began to become concerned that John was lying in a ditch somewhere, murdered.

“What do you mean you haven’t seen him? Where’s he been off to?” Simon asked.

Andy just shrugged and dug into his breakfast.

—————

Later that day at sound check all four of the guys were there, minus John. Simon had begun to really worry about what happened to him. Then an hour later, John came strolling in, looking very ruffled and hung over. Simon sighed in relief but frowned at the disheveled way John looked. He knew he had partied all night and probably just rolled out of bed at 4 in the afternoon.

“Where have you been?” Simon asked him.

John strapped on his bass and evenly looked at Simon, “At a party.”

“With people you don’t even bloody know??” Simon scolded him lightly.

John just shrugged as he played his bass, trying to get the proper levels for the sound engineers to get a good mix for his bass. Simon figured it was none of his business really, but he was concerned about John hanging around the wrong kind of people. After the sound check they all went to the single dressing room they shared to get ready for the show. Roger, Nick and Simon sat around a couch chatting a bit and in the corner of his eye, he could see John and Andy snorting coke on the dressing room table. Simon sighed and knew that John was starting to go off the rails a bit. He hadn't seen him sober since they had been in New York.

The band played their show and then headed to the after party once again. Simon looked around the room, but John was noticeably absent. 

He walked over to Andy, who was John’s usual party mate and asked, “Where’s John?”

Andy shrugged, “I saw him leave with some people a bit ago, mate.” he responded.

Simon frowned and knew that John was probably mixing with more unsavory characters. If John wanted to party, he should be safely with the band, not total strangers who are corrupting him with who knows what.

The next day, Simon found out that John hadn’t come back to the hotel again for the third night in a row. He was really becoming concerned for the bassist. Once again, John was quite late for the sound check.

Simon strolled over to John and put a hand on his shoulder, “Are you okay?” he asked with concern.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” John asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I don’t know, it just seems like you’ve been apart from the band and I’m just concerned about you is all,” Simon replied.

“I’m a big boy, Simon. Leave it alone,” John replied as he then started playing his bass and ignoring Simon.

The day after their show, the band was headed to their next destination on the tour. They were all tired from the night before and felt it was much too early for them to be on the bus. The minute they were pulling away from the last city, John started chopping up lines on the table inside the bus. Simon frowned knowing that John was really getting into the cocaine and the euphoria it was making him feel.

“Oi, Johnny! Save some for me then, yeah?” Andy said as John shared his coke with him. Andy helped himself to a line and the two of them chatted while the bus drove on.

Simon didn’t worry about Andy, he knew Andy was tough and was able to take care of himself, but John was a whole other story. He was just so young and naive and now his innocence was being taken away.

They arrived at the new destination and John and Andy were flying high as kites. Simon sighed in worry as he knew John hadn’t been sober all day. It was one thing doing the drugs after the show and at the parties, but he noticed that John was starting to do the drugs during the day now too. He was really concerned for the bassist and what kind of toll this this was going to be taking on him.

They got to their hotel rooms and Simon was sharing one with Roger. Nick and Andy were taking their turns sharing a room and John had the solo room to himself. After the show that night, Simon decided to skip the after party because he was tired. He walked down the corridor to his room and heard loud music and a group of people partying in John’s room. He knew it wasn’t band members because he had just seen them all after the show and they went to the after party. Simon wondered who John was partying with, so he carefully knocked on the door. A man who was not John answered the door and Simon looked at him inquisitively.

“Is John here?” Simon asked.

“Yeah, who wants to know?” The man said gruffly.

Simon became quickly annoyed and replied, “His best friend!”

Simon then pushed his way into the hotel room and saw a bunch of rough looking people getting high and drunk all over the hotel room. Simon didn’t recognize any of them. He looked around the room for John and asked a few people where he was. All of them shrugged and didn’t particularly care. Just then he saw John emerge from the bathroom with a girl who looked like a junky. Simon noticed that the button on John’s pants was undone and knew just what they had been doing in the bathroom.

John strolled over to the singer and he was completely drunk and high, “Simon!” he said with a gigantic smile. “You made it to my party!”

Simon frowned at him noticing the state he was in. Simon knew he had to do something to intervene.

“Okay everyone out, party’s over!” Simon shouted to all the guests.

They all looked at him in confusion, but he repeated again “Everyone go NOW!” he demanded.

They all reluctantly left one by one and eventually Simon was alone with John.

“What was that for??” John asked angrily.

“That was for you!” Simon replied back with a glare. “You are hitting the bloody drugs way too hard, John. You don’t even know any of these people!”

John huffed, “Sod off, Simon! This is up to you to decide?” he growled.

“I’m only looking out for your best interest, yeah? Can I help you get to bed?" Simon offered.

John glared at him with his piercing brown eyes, “Trying to get into my bed again, Simon?? How many times must I tell you that I’M NOT GAY!”

Simon pinched the bridge of his nose trying to keep his temper in check. “I know that, John. You’ve made it abundantly clear. But you need to sleep eventually. When is the last time you’ve slept?”

John shrugged, “I dunno. I slept on the bus I suppose.”

Simon frowned, “That was over 24 hours ago. You need sleep, John.”

John’s temper quickly flared, “You’re my mum now?? I’ll do whatever I bloody well want!”

“John please listen to me…”

“No, YOU listen, Simon! There’s nothing wrong with having a bit of fun! Just because you gave up the drugs, doesn’t mean the rest of us have to!” John said angrily.

Simon’s anger was about to get the best of him, “What a good Catholic boy you are,” he said, dripping with sarcasm. “I may not be your mum, but what would she say if she found out about all of this?!”

“I don’t rightly care!” John replied.

“Fine then. You just continue down this road, you’re going to end up dead!!” Simon growled.

John rolled his eyes, “Go back to your room, Simon. I don’t need a babysitter and especially not from the likes of YOU!”

The words stung Simon hard. He was just trying to care for his friend and John was pushing him away. Simon gave John a helpless look and then decided to go back to his room. Once Simon got inside, he noticed that Roger was already in bed sleeping. He quietly got out his lyric notebook and started scribbling words on it, really pouring out his emotions. He had written a song in less than 30 minutes and then decided to go back to John’s room to slip it under his door. He folded the paper carefully and shoved it under the crack at the bottom of the door. Then he sighed and just went back to his room to sleep.

_“Sometimes you’re needed badly, so please come back again._  
_And if those fires burn out, there’s only fire to blame._  
_No time to worry cuz we’re on the road again…”_

——————-

Since Simon hadn’t spent the night partying the night before, he actually got up at a decent hour the next morning. He spent his time watching football on the telly, writing more song lyrics, enjoying a cuppa and just lounging around the room until it was time for their soundcheck. Roger had gone out with Nick for a bit of shopping on the town for the day. So Simon was enjoying being alone in the solitude.

A few hours later there was a loud pounding on his hotel room door that startled him and almost made his heart stop. He padded to the door and opened it.

“John!” Simon said in surprise. He definitely didn’t expect John to show up in his hotel room.

John had the folded piece of paper in his hand and angrily looked at Simon with a glare, “What the bloody hell is THIS??”

Simon just stammered for a bit, looking at the floor, “I wrote it for you. I thought maybe I could really tell you how I feel.”

“I don’t need your feelings, Simon! I’m a grown adult and I can do anything I damn well please! So sod off with your new song!” John said as he shoved the paper at Simon and then walked off.

Simon was dumbfounded and heartbroken and just stood there for a minute holding the paper that was rudely shoved back at him. He was just worried about John spiraling out of control and off a ledge that he couldn’t come back from.

———————-

At that day’s soundcheck, John was noticeably absent. Simon figured it was a good chance to have an impromptu meeting with the other band members. He gathered them all up together in the middle of the stage and sighed nervously, he knew he had to get his feelings off his mind.

“Lads, I’m worried about John,” he started. “He’s taking too many drugs, drinking way too much, and hanging out with people he doesn’t even know! Who knows what will happen to him if he continues on this path.”

“Johnny’s a big boy, Charley, he can handle himself,” Andy piped up, not necessarily agreeing with Simon since he was on his own path of destruction.

Simon rolled his eyes, “I know you feel differently about it, Ands. But at least you’re staying with the band while you do it. John keeps going off with all of these junkies and who knows what they’ll have him doing next!”

Nick sighed and knew that Simon was right, “I know you’re concerned, Simon. We all are. Maybe I’ll have a talk with him. He’ll listen to me.”

“Or maybe we should all have an intervention, he needs to know that he’s self-destructing and not only is it affecting the band, but it could kill him!”

John happened to stroll in and overheard Simon’s words and his euphoria turned to anger.

“I told you this was none of your business, you nosey wanker!” John yelled at Simon.

Simon spun around, not knowing John was listening over his shoulder. “John, I only care about you. I don’t want to see you end up dead!” he tried to explain.

“I know what I’m doing, I don’t need a bloody intervention and you can all just FUCK OFF!” John said as he stormed off the stage and fled to the dressing room.

They all stood there in stunned silence and then Nick offered, “Don’t worry. I’ll go talk to him. Just give him his space and continue with the sound check.”

Nick gently knocked on the door and opened it a crack. He saw John sitting on the couch with his elbows on his knees and his head buried in his hands. He walked softly over to him and sat down next to him on the couch.

“John, you know Simon is just worried. We all are,” he said quietly. “You’re just getting wasted every night and we’re scared for you, yeah?”

John sat up straight and looked at Nick, “Andy has been too, if not more!”

“Andy never goes and hangs out with strangers. If you must get wasted every night, at least stay with the band where we can keep an eye on you. Those people you’ve been hanging out with would probably just bloody well step over your body if you overdosed!” Nick explained.

John huffed, but knew what Nick was saying was probably right. He thought about all of the people he’d been hanging around with, seeing them shooting heroin and doing cocaine at the same time. He worried that he might eventually end up like that. So he finally relented, “Yeah ok. I just wish Simon would keep his nose to himself!”

“John he’s only worried, you know how much he cares for you,” Nick said softly.

“Ha! He just wants to get into my pants again!” John laughed bitterly. “Well it’s not gonna bloody happen, Nick.” 

“No one is trying to get into your pants. Simon knows now that you don’t want him and he’s okay with that. He’s only worried as your friend. Please, John, understand that we all just want what’s best for you. Now come out and finish the sound check, yeah?” Nick asked with a smile.

John let out a groan and reluctantly got up off the couch as he followed Nick back to the stage.

John strapped on his bass and played a bit for the engineers to get a sound, purposefully ignoring Simon. Simon looked at him regretfully but knew he was doing the right thing trying to intervene. He could possibly be saving John’s life.

That night after the show, the band attended the usual after party - even John. He had kept his word to Nick and stayed around the band and their entourage while he got gradually more wasted. Simon watched John all night just to make sure he wasn’t going overboard. John seemed to be intoxicated, but still seemed like he was in somewhat control of himself.

While Simon was getting another drink from the bar, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around to look and it was John.

“Hey,” John said softly.

“Hey,” Simon replied, not much knowing what else to say.

“I just wanted to thank you. You know, for caring, yeah?” John said in an apologetic tone.

“I do care, Johnny. You’re one of my best mates. I’d be heartbroken if anything happened to you,” he said with concern in his eyes.

“I know, and I appreciate your concern,” John smiled softly. “Hey, have a line with me for old time’s sake?” he asked carefully.

“But my throat,” Simon protested.

“Come on, Charley. It’s just for one night. Your voice will hardly be affected by one line of coke,” John pressured him.

Simon just shrugged and succumbed to the pressure, “Yeah okay. Wanna go to my room? I have the solo room tonight and I don’t much want to hear a lecture from Nick about how it’s going to affect my throat.”

“Sure, let’s go,” John smiled.

They got up to Simon’s room and Simon flicked on the light. He kicked his shoes off and they both made it over to the couch. John pulled out his stash and neatly chopped up some white lines. He handed the straw to Simon, who then snorted the entire line up his nose. He tilted his head back in pleasure as he felt the immediate rush go to his brain.

John grinned widely, “Just like you remembered?”

Simon shot a grin back, “Yeah, just like I remembered.”

They spent the next few hours talking, drinking, and snorting more lines. It was nearly 4AM when the conversation came to a lull.

“You know what I was thinking about today?” John smiled.

“What?” Simon asked inquisitively.

“That first night and what we…you know…did,” he blushed.

“Oh,” Simon said and quickly turned his head away. He knew that was a touchy subject and wondered why John would even bring it up in the first place.

“I’d like to try it again,” John said as he took a finger under Simon’s chin and made him look at him.

Simon’s eyes went wide, “Have you gone mad? You know this is the drugs talking, right?” 

“No, Charley, I want it,” John continued.

“And have you angry with me and blaming me tomorrow? Ta, but no!” Simon refused.

“I won’t. I want this. I’m asking YOU, not the other way around. If I regret it in the morning, then it’s my own fault. If the fires burn out, there’s only fire to blame, yeah?” John coaxed him using his own words against him.

Simon sighed and gave in, “Yeah ok. Whatever you want John.” He was pretty intoxicated himself and wasn’t in a mood to argue. He loved the elation he was feeling.

John stood up and took Simon by the hand and led him over to the bed. He laid Simon down and climbed on top of him and started kissing him. Simon closed his eyes and felt John reach down to start rubbing his cock through his pants as they kissed. Simon groaned into the kiss and very much hoped it would be more than a hand job he would receive this time. 

John pulled away and smiled at Simon, “Come on. Get undressed, I want to see you naked and hard for me,” John said as he stood up and started removing his own clothing.

Simon was nervous, but did as John said. He was so terrified that John was just intoxicated and then tomorrow regret everything they did. But Simon complied and started to get naked. 

When they both were finally undressed John climbed back on top of Simon, “So you’ve fucked other blokes before, right?” he said softly.

“Um…yeah…” Simon stammered.

John leaned directly into Simon’s ear and whispered, “I want you to fuck me.”

Simon swallowed hard at the thought of penetrating John’s virgin ass. He knew he’d probably never get this chance again and John wanted it, so he agreed.

“Okay. We just need some type of lubricant and condoms. We’ve both been sleeping around with girls and it’s smart to be safe,” Simon said, suddenly being quite sober and rational.

“I have condoms, do you think I’d shag all of America with no condoms?” John smirked with a raised eyebrow. “And there’s lotion in the bathroom. Will that do?”

“Yeah, that will do fine,” Simon said nervously. He had been with other guys before, but this was John. A fellow band member and one of his best friends. If this screwed up their friendship, it would completely affect any success the band would have in the future.

John got up and retrieved the necessary items they needed to continue. Then he came back to Simon.

“So how does this work?” He smiled a feral grin.

“Um, why don’t you get on your hands and knees?” Simon said nervously. “I suspect it will be less painful for you that way.” He warned.

“I like a little pain,” John grinned as he licked Simon’s lips playfully and then got on his hands and knees.

“Shit..” Simon muttered to himself. Well here goes nothing.

He lotioned up his fingers and stuck one into John. John gasped at the intrusion, but it didn’t hurt, it just felt different. Simon fingered John slowly for a bit and stuck in a second.

“Are you alright, Johnny?” Simon asked carefully.

“Oh god yes! I’m rather enjoying it!” John groaned as he tossed his head back and eyes slammed shut.

“Do you think you’re ready for me?” Simon asked carefully. He loved John deeply as a brother and best friend and would never want to hurt him.

“I think so. Please go easy,” John said softly.

“I will. It will only hurt for a moment and then I promise you, you’ll be begging for more,” Simon grinned.

Simon then rolled on the condom and put some extra lotion on it. He then put more lotion on John’s entrance to get him as slick as he possibly could.

“Okay, just relax, John. Relax your body and think of how good it’s going to eventually feel,” Simon explained to him.

John exhaled a deep breath and tried to stay calm as much as possible as Simon pressed in slowly.

“Holy fuck!” John screamed out in a bit of pain.

  “Relax, John. You’re gonna be okay,” Simon reassured him. “Just let me get it in. I promise you’ll love it.”

John gripped the bedsheets and let Simon work his way into his body. Simon slowly slid himself in and eventually was balls deep into John.

“Are you okay?” Simon asked softly.

John was over the initial pain and it just felt a bit weird, “I think so. Fuck me,” he demanded.

Simon started to slowly slide in and out, noting how tight John was around his cock. He could come right now with all of the clenched muscles around him, but he knew he couldn’t let John down with his first experience.

He started to move faster and then started nailing John’s prostate. John’s eyes went wide at the feeling, he never had experienced that sensation before and it was like Heaven.

“Faster!” John begged. He wanted to feel that again and again.

Simon angled himself so that he was drilling into John’s sweet spot. John reached down and started stroking his own cock while Simon thrust into him.

“Fuck, Charley! That feels so fucking amazing! Fuck me!” He screamed.  
 Simon was panting and reached around and wrapped his hand around John’s as they both stroked John’s hard erection. He pounded John’s ass and he was very close to the edge that he couldn’t pull himself back from.

“Fuck John, you’re so tight….I can’t last!” Simon panted.

“Come in my ass,” John begged. “I want to feel it!”

That’s all Simon needed to hear as his orgasm shot through his body like fire and his cock throbbed in John’s tight ass. John groaned as he felt Simon come inside of him and then his own orgasm shot out in spurts underneath him. Simon slowed down his thrusting until he had become flaccid again and slid out of John as John hissed. Simon then collapsed onto the bed next to John, covering his eyes with the crook of his arm.

“Oh god, Johnny, that was bloody amazing,” Simon panted.

John laid down next to Simon and put his head on Simon’s chest. “It was, wasn’t it? You’re a great lover.” John grinned as he playfully teased Simon’s nipple with his tongue.

“Are you going to regret this tomorrow?” Simon worried.

“Not a chance,” John grinned. “I’ll probably want more tomorrow.”

Simon laughed and got up to go grab a towel for them to clean off, “I think I’ve created a randy monster.”

The sun was starting to come up and they were both coming down from their high.

“We best get some sleep. We have to be on the bus in about 3 hours,” Simon groaned.

“It was worth it,” John said as he tucked the pillow under his head and closed his eyes.

They both fell asleep fully sated and exhausted from their night of partying. A smile played across Simon’s face as he thought of the night with John he had always wanted and finally received. The wait had been worth it.


End file.
